...the deal is

Oh hello world!

So, with marriage, and this blog dying away while I was giddy in love.....
[oh, and the whole name change thing...]
I have started a new blog.

And because I want to be in touch with you all [as I feel a kinship with you]
I would love it if you went over to take a look.

And if you leave a comment I wouldn't mind-
and would love it if you did so I could find your lovely blogs again
and re-follow your life.


Here's the link.
[click!]
It's still in the making.

to a daddy, not a dad...

There has always been a difference to me in the words daddy and dad.
My dad is a daddy.
A dad of girls. .
To my brother, he's a dad.
But to me, he will forever be a daddy.
I am the sole inheritor of his brown eyes,
and to be honest, just about everything else.
Everyone loves their dad, but I'm pretty sure I have a leg up.

I've been told for years that I am my dad.
Now that wedding planning has come,
it even shows in the way I plan party details.

All of it just makes it so that my daddy understands me.
So maybe I'm biased, but I am pretty sure I have the best one.
And today he turns 50 [though you would never know]
So for the man who has everything,
I will write about him for his birthday.
And tell him I love him at least ten times.

So to the man that has literally provided my whole life to me.
Thank you.
Thank you for my schooling,
and the clothes on my back.
Thank you for the food I eat,
and the wedding I'm planning.
For the place I come home to,
and the time I get to spend there.
Thank you for holidays,
and the desire to do something more.
Thanks for helping us to believe in ourselves,
and to know that there are no limits on what we can do.
Happiness is a choice, thanks for helping us choose it.







 

Happy Birthday to my 50 year old, handsome, hard-working father.

Love you Always,

Taylor Ann

...and now I have a love story

I've had so many requests for details, and blogging is always the last thing on my list these days (let's be real, it's been last on my list since I started dating boy), but world...I'm engaged and happy and here to give you a few little details.

Today, I entered a contest and had to write a bit about 'our story'. I thought, per your request and the sake of my memories I don't want forgotten, I would share it here.

When I moved in here a year and a half ago, I was very taken with the boy with a dimple and bright blue eyes. I was sure Jay Winters was the most darling boy I had ever laid my eyes on, but fate would have it that it wasn't in either of our cards, and I dismissed the thought. We continued to be friends and had good conversations over the balcony separating his apartment from mine. That was all it was for a long time, and I grew up a bit and dated people that helped me appreciate all Jay would be to me.

We lived in the same apartment complex for a full year before he ever asked me out. And what they say about the rest being history? It really was. We both expressed our interest in only dating each other only 5 days after our first date, and he kissed me goodnight right there on my doorstep. From then on he was my boy. He was the boy to open my door and tell me how wonderful he thought I was, and I adored everything about him. He really was a breath of fresh air.

Over Christmas he came to California to see my home, and I was reminded of how I needed him. We were hiking one day and came across a meadow I'd never seen. It was a beautiful day, and we stopped to take it all in as he held me tight. He told me he loved me right there. I felt the same, and told him so.

Two weeks ago, we went to the mountains. And there, in the snow, he took me by surprise again. He leaned in, gave me a hug, took a step back, and reached for his pocket. My shaking hands went up over my mouth as he told me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I was lost for words, and hugged him tight. He lovingly reminded me of his need for a response and with shaking hands, I held his face and looked into those blue eyes. Yes, of course.



I think you always know love is real, but you never really understand how it works until you feel it.
I could never understand how people got to a point where they wanted to be together forever.
But just so you know, it's real and it's all it's cracked up to be.
I'm so excited to be with my blue-eyed boy for all eternity.

Love Always,
And happy as I've ever been,

Taylor Ann

coming from a thankful soul

Thanksgiving is past, I know.
But I can have thankful Thursday, or thankful-through-the-month-of-December if I so please.

So today I am thankful for home.
I'm grateful for the potential I feel in me to be something great when I'm there.
I'm grateful for the people there who believe in me.
I'm grateful for the skies and mountains and clouds and sunsets.
I'm grateful for the comfortable silence,
the kind where the love is still tangible and doubts do not exist.
The holding of hands two two little ones, or a grandpa.
I'm grateful that, though I go away, people here stay the same.
I'm grateful for the pace of life...
the kind that when the dinosaur computer is so slow at the appliance store you chat with the lady at the desk. You joke about the fact that people not from here don't always understand- the stores are closed on Sundays, the people call each other by name, there's a man on a horse that sometimes hangs out in town. The lady at the bank went to high school with your dad and you went to school with her son. You get one-on-one attention where ever you go, because mostly, you're one of the only customers.
This place where life is a little slower.
And you know the boy who made your steamer at the coffee shop.
And you play with all the babies.
You pick up your sister from a party and immediately receive a baby in your arms
and hugs all around. Two-armed, real, bear hugs.
You can be yourself and not worry about if you're too fat or how your hair looks or what you wear.
People there know me for who I am, and who I've become over the last 21 years.
They know me back to front. I've proved myself through my life, not my first impression.

When I went to school, I made friends just fine.
But when I had hard days I didn't want people to see my faults.
I didn't want to try so hard to explain the way I was feeling and the reasons I hurt,
with the chance they still wouldn't understand.

So today I'm grateful for family. and home. and people who understand.





Love Always,
and very very blessed,

Taylor Ann

a pat on the back to me- I am alive

My word it's been some time.
Last night I heard my phone buzz and looked over to see a text that read
"Update your blog already woman!!! Also how is everything!?!?!"
I suppose I forgot that some people read what I write.
And in all honesty, I have missed the therapeutic nature of writing my thoughts.
For, a surprise to us all I'm sure.... I have quite a few of them.
To those of you who come to visit me here, I feel like I owe a slight explanation.
I have been crazy.
Not just school, not just service, not just friends.
This semester has been different than any other on record.
I've dated more than ever before in my life,
I've forged new and different friendships.
I'm not serving in a leadership position on campus.
I have a boy and I like him.
And all of it is changing and growing all the time.
I guess so much has gone on that I'm not quite sure where or how to start.

I guess I'll start somewhere-
Late last summer when I was home, I had a friend that came and wanted to do a photo shoot.
You have to understand, I am consistently behind the lens.
That being said, I was more than slightly uncomfortable.
But Chloe is a gem. She made me comfortable and at home in this place I love.
And when she sent me the pictures a few weeks later, I was pleasantly surprised.
I loved the way she brought out the good things about me [extreme talent]
More than that, I loved that I was at home and she caught my happiness.
This is me, and this is where I'm from.
And it's merely a piece of the happiness I feel when I'm here.

Here's to being home.
And family.
An an enormous gratitude post coming your way,
and a whole lot of time with kiddos coming my way.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

Summer Series: efy

So I was in Hawaii,
which was an adventure in and of itself,
when I received an e-mail from efy.
efy=especially for youth=church summer camp=favorite part of my adolescence.

I had applied earlier in the summer, but as life would have it...
It didn't work out.

The email told me they had openings for a few sessions the following week, and I shot back an "I'm free"
Three days later, an overnight flight home, church, and an all-nighter to get ready.
I was at efy.
Everyone had been a counselor before.
I was the complete and total newbie, and had no idea what I was doing.
I was placed with the largest group of girls.
My boss transferred her niece to my group,
so I felt like all eyes were on me...
the rookie.
I was a hot mess,
sick from my all-nighter,
but trusting that the Lord had my back.
Oh, and faking it until I made it.

That week was a God-sent little blessing.
I needed it.

I needed to refocus, and get my mind out of the mess it was in.
The only way I've learned to do that is to take the focus off the little circle that is me.
Not a moment of the whole experience was about me, and it was exactly what I needed.







So I lost myself in the sounds of my kiddos calls for Mama TayTay,
and loved every minute of doing so.

Love Always,
A mama of 24 little ducklings,
Mama TayTay

Summer Series: the summer I had a fling with motorcycles

I don't know how it happened...

but this summer I had a real thing for motorcycles, apparently.

It started spring semester when my roommate was dating a boy.

Him and his roommate owned motorcycles.

I was single.

So we formed a motorcyle gang, the four of us.

Then so happened that they left for summer,

and another friend needed a girl to ride on the back. 

Oh wait, I could probably help you out with that one... you know?

And yet another friend came in town from Boston and I got the text,

"how about a motorcycle ride up the canyon, lunch, and the best ice cream you'll ever have?"

I said no. 

whaaaaaattttt. jokes. 

How could I possibly refuse that.

 [thus all the pictures. i LOVE the drive to Park City]

Then I went home, and I was sure my adventures were over. 

But fate would have it otherwise, 

I was about to have my best one yet.

I got asked if by a friend if I wanted to take an adventure...

but wasn't allowed to ask questions. 

Take it or leave it. 

And hallelujah I took it.

 Not only was it one of the best adventures I had all summer...

but completed my motorcycle adventures for a while.

you know, I'm not really sure I would want my husband to have a motorcycle 

if we're being really honest here...

but I sure don't mind someone else's future husband giving me a ride. 

The combination of slight danger and wind in your face....

Doesn't get much better than that.

I had a thing with more motorcycles than boys this summer. 

Go figure.

Summer Series: Belle

I spent some time with my Gina when I was home.
Those adventures are always much needed, and always last longer than planned.
Regardless of when we meet up, I keep my entire afternoon open.
This time we just needed a Frosty.
Those of you who are from Coarsegold, you know what I mean.
We just needed to sit on the wooden tables under the misters,
and enjoy a frosty at Robert's.
Where old black and white movies play on repeat,
and the walls are covered in glamour shots of Marilyn, Audrey, and Lucy.
Where a hand carved wooden bear sits atop the shelf,
and the different coffees are named after the regular customers.
Where anybody not from Coarsegold gets their picture posted on the wall.
And even if the waitress doesn't know your name, she knows what family you come from.
Oh, and Robert actually cooks the food. Every day.
So yeah, we needed to go to Robert's Frosty.
How else on earth do you describe that feeling?




Gina and I, being 5 years old like we are, needed matching lockets of our favorite princesses.
I guess I hadn't ever given much thought to which was my favorite before.
But it is Belle, without a doubt.
She is strong, and knows what is right.
Not only does she know what's right, but she does what is right...
even when it doesn't make sense to everyone else.
She can hold her own, and stand alone.
She sees beyond outer appearances, and genuinely loves her friends and family.
She fights for what she believes, and knows what that is.
And on top of it all, she dances in a beautiful gown and tames a beast.
She allows herself to be vulnerable, when she could have stayed safe.
She is Beauty.

Just a thought.
Taylor Ann

Summer Series: Barefoot and Bronze

These pictures don't include me, but they describe my trip to Hawaii pretty accurately.
I was just blessed to be a part of these babies' world this summer.
There is something different about being on vacation with little ones.
Everything is new and exciting to them.
Everything is magical.











Our days were filled with lots of sun, even more sand, family and food.
It was just what I needed- being with those kiddos for a week.
Kids see you for you, plain and simple.
And they love you, no questions asked.
There are no complications to those friendships,
you always know where you are at- good or bad.
Kids.. well, they need you. your love, your attention, your help.
They require more from you, but are so worth the time.
I needed to be out of Provo, and they were the perfect remedy.

Taylor Ann