at lunch parties before the war

"There has fallen a splendid tear

From the passion-flower at the gate.

She is coming, my dove, my dear;

She is coming, my life, my fate;

The red rose cries, "She is near, she is near";

And the white rose weeps, "She is late";

The larkspur listens, "I hear, I hear";

And the lily whispers, "I wait."

"My heart is like a singing bird

Whose nest is in a water'd shoot;

My heart is like an apple tree

Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit;

My heart is like a rainbow shell

That paddles in a halsyon sea;

My heart is gladder than all these

Because my love is come to me."

-Virginia Woolf

"A Room of One's Own"

"Boys, boys, boys"

 Last night I had a guy friend on my couch,
who is somehow always made aware [whether by me or my roommates] of my boy situations.
So all of a sudden he puts this song on with no comment except "this one's for you"
Start around 30 seconds if I remember correctly..

Yeahwhat? We may have all burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"I'm a playa in every sense of the word, ya heard?"

I'm not really sure that I've listened to the song all the way through....
Nor am I aware if it is "clean" quote on quote, so just be aware.

Then I get to thinkin, that's not really true, is it?
And to my remembrance came these gems:

"I'm scared of girls, because I was raised around you." -Bub

"Tay, these remind me of you..." -Brooke [see below]

"boys, boys, boys" -Lady Gaga
"Oo, boy, open your eyes, a girl like me ain't waitin' all night...I got that honey, that sugar, that spice..." -Chiddy Bang

And my other sister deemed this my line when she first introduced me to Adele:

"There's no room in my bed as far as I'm concerned so wipe that dirty smile off please" -Adele

Shoot, 
Maybe I'm a bit of a sass.
I probably need to work on these things.
I probably won't..

Nor will I post this on my facebook.
Welcome to my online journal people,
where I apparently share with you my faults.
Glad we've reached this point.

Love Always, Taylor Ann

Because my dad thinks my blog is deep....

Today we had an interesting discussion in our Doctrine and Covenants class
[for those not familiar with Mormon lingo... it's a religion class]

God uses an interesting phrase in the passage we were discussing: "it mattereth not to me"
Oh, if I had only learned this concept long before I did.
I think sometimes we want direct guidance.
Shoot, I want it all the time.

[pick this major]
[date this person]
[marry this person *fireworks. duh*]
[do this internship]
[take this job]
[live in this place]

yeah, I'm a big fan of involving God in your decisions, don't get me wrong there...
but He also loves us and sometimes, if it "matters not" to him, he wants us to choose whatever makes us happy.
He will not direct our every paths. 

so if it seems right, and feels right.
and you are using your judgement
and you go about it all with a thankful heart....

make a decision. and do what makes you happy.
sometimes it's ok to receive the absence of an answer.

And now, I will attach an absolutely fabulous old favorite.
Because you will love it.
And if not-listen again.
Then reconsider our friendship.




Love Always,
And learning how to make decisions,
Taylor Ann

oh hey internship life.

Today is Monday.

So, naturally, I'm talking over here about my lovely run in with the darling Monica.

Oh but wait, I haven't told you I'm doing an on-campus internship?

I haven't told you I do interviews with women in the business world once a week?

Well, I do. And it rocks.

Educate.
Excite.
Empower.

I'm all about women changing the world.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

Hello, world.

Hello, i phone.
You take absolutely lovely pictures.

Hello, sunshine.
I need you.
Stay forever. 

Hello, fireside on Christ.
Thanks for reminding me He has it all figured out.

Hello, Jess.
Thanks for telling me it won't work until it works.
It somehow makes it better.

Hello, life.
You are wonderful.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

because I can never actually finish a blog post...

March 22
I have a boy. Asleep on my couch right now.
And I'm listening to the Hunger Games soundtrack,
while I mentally prepare for my test? No. For the hunger games premiere.

Can I please get through my last midterm tomorrow? Please?

Fast forward 24 hours.

March 23
Now, I'm running on 3 ish hours of sleep and am struggling to keep my eyes propped open while studying.
Rough. But worth it.
I'm in love with Peeta, as is every girl on this dang planet.
Gale- so attracted to him. But guess what? He just doesn't love her like Peeta.
So, it doesn't matter that he wins in the looks department.

March 24
Late night again.
Got home from the test around 8pm.
Danced on chairs and blasted music while hanging streamers.
Threw a surprise birthday party for my cutie engaged roommate.
Went to Traditions Ball [yeah...total success. so happy]
Gave away a birthday kiss on the cheek.
And now? I will call it a night.
And put off cleaning up this streamer-filled living room of mine.

pick-me-ups

Sometimes when I have bad days
[because, hello, they just happen...] 
I whip these out and remember that
even though some people aren't always wonderful,
and even though sometimes I'm dumb,
I know some real keepers.

"oh, she beautiful!" [insert heavy chinese accent here]
"Yeah, I sure think so" [good response homeboy, #winning]

"miss you
your such a champ you practically redefine the word"

"you are the most substantial human being i know
and you are the real deal"

"Oh I see, kind of like the way you're an enormously high powered super-magnet for precious boys because you yourself are ultimately the most precious person on the face of the earth"
 
"maybe we won't end up as old maids after all, because I'm pretty certain we are more than just decently attractive... ;)"

Bad days can end good.
Just make them

Taylor

Dreaming of a ballroom....

Literally. I love life.

Currently, I have a midterm to be studying for and a gym membership to use....

but instead I'm watching the last scene of the redone version of Beauty and the Beast.

Singing every word to this song, naturally...

and swooning at the thought of ever being in a room that beautiful.



Watch it, do.

It will make you smile.

hi, i'm alive.

Good gracious.

My dearest readership,
[or at least those of you who are still around]
This game of ours has gotten pushed to the back burner in a major way the past few weeks?
[ugh. boo]

In the midst of it all I had a roommate get sick with mono... oh, and tonselidus too,
a sister get sick with a bacterial sinus infection,
midterms that never seem to end,
and a wonderful date or two. or three or four.... ;)

And the biggest distraction of them all: the weather. 
You know those times when you can close your eyes and be perfectly comfortable just.. being?
The weather is just at that perfect moment that never seems to last very long,
but you breathe it in with all you have and wish it would last forever.
It never stays, but the memory gets you through the frigid cold of winter.

Yep, so my days are filled with more long barefoot walks and motorcycle rides than ever before.
Long phone conversations on the grass outside, and equally long phone conversations indoors.
I love the out of state friends? Apparently...

Spring, please stay forever.
I love you.

do you know what i do all the time?

College was really hard, emotionally, my first year.
I was used to things falling into my lap, and people knowing my name
[not to mention the two generations before me]

and I came here and I couldn't play an instrument.

I mean that wasn't all, but it personifies my problem.
Everyone seemed to be good at things that I wasn't...
and I forgot that I was good at anything at all.

Then I found something outside of myself.
I got involved in a campus organization.
I started doing things that weren't about me.
I loved it, and I felt important and needed.

I've found something every semester since to  do that for me.
That makes it all sound selfish, but maybe it is?

Right now, I'm a Vice President over with Student Alumni.
Oh wait? You don't know what that is? Never fear. I'll tell you.

Student Alumni is connected with the term "Cougars today, cougars forever" and that's our goal. I mean, what's the point of going to a University you don't love and want to be a sweet alumni that reps their college shirt on gameday forever?
I seriously don't know.

We [meaning myself and the other officers and volunteers, whom I adore...] get to help students feel the spirit of the Y by hosting Tradition and Professional Development events. I get to do the Traditions events.....which are awesome, fyi. Traditions Ball, Hike and Light the Y, Food Drive, Senior Celebration, etc. Yeah...sweet.

Oh wait? I forgot to explain the spirit of the Y? If you've gone to BYU, and I mean really gone to BYU [not just gone through the motions of going to classes... you get out what you put in, y'all] you will know. There's just something about it here. Regardless of sports, or physical attractiveness of our facilities [which are often lacking], or prestige of our programs.... there's just a special spirit here. If you let yourself stop stressing about school or boys or how fat you feel in those pants for just a second, you'll feel it. Take out your headphones. Look up, remember? It's better to look up. And that's one of my favorite reasons to look up. To feel that spirit of the Y.

Anyways, all this means that 1. I'm advocating another cause bigger than me, probably for selfish reasons like keeping my sanity 2. I get to spend much of my time in the most beautiful building on campus named after my childhood prophet [Hinckley Center] 3. I get to help plan awesome events and meet even more awesome volunteers. let's be real, they make my job easy.

Just thought I'd let you know about what takes up a large chunk of my time.
Oh wait? You want to go to our website? I'll help you. Click here.
While you're there you want to register for Traditions Ball? Even better.

Just teasing you. But really.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann