conversations with mama

me

The thing is, I would be fine with or without him

mama

you feel that way about every boy, honey

but someday, you will like someone more than that.

more than "take it or leave it".

you might get your heart broken the first time it happens,

but it will happen

I saw this video today
real, true love.

Someday.

Love Always,

TaylorAnn

it is what it is, whatever that means

Have you had those friends that you just love?

There's no reason you should, really. 

They maybe do dumb things sometimes. 

Maybe you never get to see them. 

Perhaps there is no logical reason why you should be friends, 

but somehow you just are?

No other way to say it. 

You just are.

Over Christmas I got a call from France.

I haven't talked to him in... I don't know, maybe a few months?

But he called. And we talked. 

About nothing really important. 

I wanted to know about his life, 

and he wanted to know about mine.

I was so blunt with him that it made the little girls in the back seat giggle.
But that's just the way it is.

At the end of the conversation I asked him what he does with his time. 

He says he reads whatever he can get his hands on, and I ask if I can send him a book.

He promises me a postcard.

I say he must write a lot.

And there must be pictures of his adventures. 

He agrees.

I'm really good at interrogating him. 

Well, I'm really good at interrogating, period. 

But here's how you know we're real friends.

He interrogates me back.

Give and take.

"It's my turn to interrogate you now.....

Do you feel like a business woman? 

How many more years before you become president of the world? 

Do you ever feel overworked?" 

He knows just what to ask,

and I will wait for him to sit still long enough for me to have an address to write him back to.

For now, I have a postcard from France.

There's nothing like a good friend.

Love Always,

Taylor Ann

getting back on feat. miss mackenzie

Have you ever fallen off a horse?
Well, it's kind of a scary thing....no matter how old you are.
When I was probably around 6 years old, I fell off my horse straight into grandma and grandpa's pond.
Daddy gave me the shirt off his back and I emotionally recovered at grandma's house.
[which is, of course, the best place to recover]

But would you know what is the most important is about falling off?
Getting back on.
Which also happens to be the scariest part.
But gosh darnit, isn't that the way everything is?

Well, this story isn't about me after all anyways.
You see, Miss Mackenzie loves horses.
[Santa even gave her horse pajamas this year]
Over Christmas, she fell off.
Scared her and everyone else half to death,
but she was so brave.
She got right back on.

You know, if you think about it....
everything good stops if you fall off at the first bump,
and never get back on.
But life keeps going just fine if you get back on.

I love you my pretty little Mackenzie :)

Taylor Ann

Thoughts on life.

Today, there's a lot on my mind.

Most of the thoughts center on how short life can really be,
and that anything can happen. to anyone. at any moment.
Today it has been two years since my cousin Caroline passed away.
She was young, with three little ones- all under the age of 12.

I was able to visit her 3 or summers back or so, when she was in remission.
Although she was my senior by, I don't know, almost twenty years,
we talked frankly and openly like we were cousins.
After all, that's what we were.
We spent time talking about marriage and dating and high school,
we enjoyed fabulous dinners due to our mutual love for good food,
we bonded over our mutual love for great shoes,
we talked about growing up and how there's no need to rush.

I was in Texas for especially for youth, a church camp.
That year, my roommate had to bum out on me at the last minute,
and in all honesty I was a bit nervous and frustrated.

I will be forever grateful that Heavenly Father stuck his hand directly into my life,
and gave me a little extra time with Caroline.

Everything happens for a reason,
even when you don't understand it.
Today I found out a friend from high school, who just got married,
is moving home because her husband has cancer.
I don't understand that.
Caroline Terry lost her battle with cancer 2 years ago,
and left behind a loving husband and three children.
I don't understand that either.

So today, be grateful for what you have.
Love the people you love,
and take advantage of every opportunity.


I love you all,
Taylor Ann

the funny ways life works.

let me lead you through this little series of events that have happened in my life lately.
by lately, I mean in the last six months.
one time, I had my life planned out.
I was running for BYUSA office.
and was applying for the business school.
and when you make plans you are supposed to think positive right?
So, when I lost the election and got put on a waiting list for the business school....
my life felt a little bit in shambles.
but then someone I met during campaign week gave me a call last week.
and offered me a really incredible opportunity.
and I took it.

and I got into the business school.
and I took that too.

and I learned the lessons He was trying to teach me.
that things always work out, and He makes it so.
and patience. ohhhhh, the art of patience.

then I showed up for our first board meeting and leadership training.
And forgot my mascara. on my left eye.
and accidentally forgot to spit out my chewing gum.

and thought....
here we go.

she's country....

So yeah, we have a ranch back home.
And I own real cowboy boots and a belt buckle.
And I love the smell of cows, grass, and dirt all mixed in one.
But where I'm from, the men don't dance.
So I've never really done the country dance thing.

Last night I went country swing dancing.
Best.
Choice.
Ever.
You remember how much I love to dance....right?
And as long as the boy could lead, I was all smiles.

But here's the thing about dances.
At any dance, there are bound to be winners.
and... losers.
Ok, losers is harsh. Let's do this classification by reasoning behind attendance.
Some boys go to dance. They come in a group, typically know what they're doing, and have fun.
[Still there to meet girls more often than not, but pretty normal]
And some go because.... well, girls will dance with them.
Especially here. Boys don't get turned down much around these parts.
So... I got asked by that type 2. twice.

the first one was a creep.
I mean straight up.
pull me in close and do weird, abnormal moves and.... yucky.

but you know, another one asked and I wasn't super excited.
He was probably 5 foot and walked a little funny.
and I think he might have been a little off upstairs.
he didn't really talk much while we danced, but he knew how to dance well. [no creeper moves included]
he spun me around here and there, and like I said before... I was all smiles.
very sweetly, and avoiding eye contact he said, "you have a really pretty smile"
of course, then I was prone to smile bigger and said thank you.
he messed up a little then bashfully replied, "Sorry, I can't dance when you smile like that"

Literally made my night, precious boy.
I know a fake compliment when I hear one.... I've gotten enough.
This was not fake. It was the most sincere one I've had in a while.
Gosh, wish I would stop judging right away.
It really isn't fair...

On a different note. We have 5 wedding invitations on our fridge.
Life, hurry up and get me a boyfriend so I can go to wedding receptions.
It's only a little more than slightly awkward to bring a first date.
and when the roommates don't know them, they aren't super keen on being your date.
shoot.

home loving and a happy memorial day

So Saturday I may or may not have had a quarter-life crisis.
It lasted less than an hour (they always do around here...)
And we were off to the races.
By the races I mean retail therapy.
I mean, I think it was already planned by my cute mother...
(I mean, you don't shop while you're at college.... so when you come home...it happens)
but shop we did, and cute they (our purchased items) are.

Sunday was better, as Sundays always are.
Memorial Day in a home ward is so different than a college ward could ever be.
The veterans stood up and were recognized... two of them spoke.
They spoke of real things.
One spoke of how the gospel has helped him,
the other recognized all of those who defend us.
Of all the millions upon millions of people who have lived on this earth.
How lucky we are to be the small fraction of those...
who live in a free country
at a time when we have every opportunity

another favorite part of home is daddy's Sunday school class.
he's my favorite teacher ever, and not because he's my daddy.
we just speak the same language, you know?
we talked about scriptural military heroes.
Moroni of course...

Other things I'm loving about being home??

dad's old rodeo t-shirts

and puppy love.

With Captain Moroni, dad, and these little guys in my life, 

how could I ever need anyone else?

some thoughts for today.

So we have new roommates, have I told you that?

And I don't think we would have ever lived together if not for the random move-in

but I'm so glad we are.
and our kickball team rocks.

And I know taking pictures of yourself is very seventhgrade-myspace-esque.....

But I was brave enough to wear a hat last week.

and that was a big day.

Someday I'll blog about being bold.

It's a new goal. 

And it's coming, slowly but surely.

Happy Night.

I will be here... writing biology papers on genetic risks for cancer.

mmmmmmm. 

-tay

on hearts and choices

Sometimes people hurt your heart. Some people even break it.
Friends, role models, loves.
Lots of people really.

And you know what? you're going to be ok.
Because all things must fail, but charity,
Which is the pure love of Christ, never faileth.
He will never leave you, nor will his love.
Never is the strong kind of word that I love.

I never have to be sad for long.
Someday I will get married, and I will never have to give him up.
When I have children, I will never stop loving them.
I never have to stop learning.
I never have to stop growing.
My world never has to stop expanding.

Most nevers, you see, are choices.
Most everything is a choice actually.
So make yours.
And if your heart hurts, never let it stay that way.
And if you are unhappy, choose something else.
Choose who you want to be, and be just that.

Today I am happy.
I made my choice a long time ago.

So, once upon a time I came to the realization that you don't have to be mature in every way to be a grown up. In fact, you're totally allowed to have fun. No matter what. I've heard the President of my University chuckle at a slightly inappropriate slip (crap....said out loud... at a fancy luncheon...on a microphone), and crack a joke or two himself. I have a sister and brother-in-law who speak in silly voices to each other and dance and giggle. President Holland flashed a peace sign at the crowd during general conference no more than a few weeks ago, and my dad loves watching movies like hot rod and napoleon dynamite.

Dear life, I think I'm almost ready to be a grown up.

I'm just not ready to be completely serious.

Hope that's ok with you.

Having fun. assignment style

Sometimes my teachers give "having fun" assignments and I take a drive to the mountains. 

Best. thing. ever.

I love photography. 

There are so many things you can learn from it.

For instance there are things you can't see when you're lens is focused on something else.

Sometimes, are we focused on something else and missing what's in front of us?

Is there something  that we can't see because we are choosing not to?

Just food for thought :)

-Tay