to a daddy, not a dad...

There has always been a difference to me in the words daddy and dad.
My dad is a daddy.
A dad of girls. .
To my brother, he's a dad.
But to me, he will forever be a daddy.
I am the sole inheritor of his brown eyes,
and to be honest, just about everything else.
Everyone loves their dad, but I'm pretty sure I have a leg up.

I've been told for years that I am my dad.
Now that wedding planning has come,
it even shows in the way I plan party details.

All of it just makes it so that my daddy understands me.
So maybe I'm biased, but I am pretty sure I have the best one.
And today he turns 50 [though you would never know]
So for the man who has everything,
I will write about him for his birthday.
And tell him I love him at least ten times.

So to the man that has literally provided my whole life to me.
Thank you.
Thank you for my schooling,
and the clothes on my back.
Thank you for the food I eat,
and the wedding I'm planning.
For the place I come home to,
and the time I get to spend there.
Thank you for holidays,
and the desire to do something more.
Thanks for helping us to believe in ourselves,
and to know that there are no limits on what we can do.
Happiness is a choice, thanks for helping us choose it.







 

Happy Birthday to my 50 year old, handsome, hard-working father.

Love you Always,

Taylor Ann

coming from a thankful soul

Thanksgiving is past, I know.
But I can have thankful Thursday, or thankful-through-the-month-of-December if I so please.

So today I am thankful for home.
I'm grateful for the potential I feel in me to be something great when I'm there.
I'm grateful for the people there who believe in me.
I'm grateful for the skies and mountains and clouds and sunsets.
I'm grateful for the comfortable silence,
the kind where the love is still tangible and doubts do not exist.
The holding of hands two two little ones, or a grandpa.
I'm grateful that, though I go away, people here stay the same.
I'm grateful for the pace of life...
the kind that when the dinosaur computer is so slow at the appliance store you chat with the lady at the desk. You joke about the fact that people not from here don't always understand- the stores are closed on Sundays, the people call each other by name, there's a man on a horse that sometimes hangs out in town. The lady at the bank went to high school with your dad and you went to school with her son. You get one-on-one attention where ever you go, because mostly, you're one of the only customers.
This place where life is a little slower.
And you know the boy who made your steamer at the coffee shop.
And you play with all the babies.
You pick up your sister from a party and immediately receive a baby in your arms
and hugs all around. Two-armed, real, bear hugs.
You can be yourself and not worry about if you're too fat or how your hair looks or what you wear.
People there know me for who I am, and who I've become over the last 21 years.
They know me back to front. I've proved myself through my life, not my first impression.

When I went to school, I made friends just fine.
But when I had hard days I didn't want people to see my faults.
I didn't want to try so hard to explain the way I was feeling and the reasons I hurt,
with the chance they still wouldn't understand.

So today I'm grateful for family. and home. and people who understand.





Love Always,
and very very blessed,

Taylor Ann

a pat on the back to me- I am alive

My word it's been some time.
Last night I heard my phone buzz and looked over to see a text that read
"Update your blog already woman!!! Also how is everything!?!?!"
I suppose I forgot that some people read what I write.
And in all honesty, I have missed the therapeutic nature of writing my thoughts.
For, a surprise to us all I'm sure.... I have quite a few of them.
To those of you who come to visit me here, I feel like I owe a slight explanation.
I have been crazy.
Not just school, not just service, not just friends.
This semester has been different than any other on record.
I've dated more than ever before in my life,
I've forged new and different friendships.
I'm not serving in a leadership position on campus.
I have a boy and I like him.
And all of it is changing and growing all the time.
I guess so much has gone on that I'm not quite sure where or how to start.

I guess I'll start somewhere-
Late last summer when I was home, I had a friend that came and wanted to do a photo shoot.
You have to understand, I am consistently behind the lens.
That being said, I was more than slightly uncomfortable.
But Chloe is a gem. She made me comfortable and at home in this place I love.
And when she sent me the pictures a few weeks later, I was pleasantly surprised.
I loved the way she brought out the good things about me [extreme talent]
More than that, I loved that I was at home and she caught my happiness.
This is me, and this is where I'm from.
And it's merely a piece of the happiness I feel when I'm here.

Here's to being home.
And family.
An an enormous gratitude post coming your way,
and a whole lot of time with kiddos coming my way.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

Summer Series: Bub

When I was home my mom sat reading the sisters blog as per usual
when I walked up she didn't look up, but stated...
"You never blog anymore".
And it's true, I know.
Sometimes, you're just not really sure what to write or how to write.

But I have to start over somewhere.
So I'll start with the little brother.
He is quite the subject in my life these days, living 5 blocks away from each other and all...
I came home at the end of the summer just barely in time for his  18th Birthday shindig.
It was. A. Blast.

He is so great.
One night after a long drive home (and equally long talk about life),
I sneezed.
You have to understand... my sneeze is high-pitched to say the least.
It sounds fake, and fairly silly.
Sort of what you may think a five year old disney princess sneeze may sound like.
And there's this little sigh at the end.
Every time.

Zane kind of chuckled and said....
"Your husband must adore your sneeze.
Really though, he has to think it's the cutest thing in the world.
He just needs to realize how special you are"

And those are moments where I remember why I need to marry a boy like my brother.
He is genuine, kind, fun, and makes me feel like a million bucks.
 

So happy Birthday bub, and here's to a fun semester together.
You are my favorite boy.

On another note,  this summer was one of the mos unexpected summers I've ever experienced.
There was some traveling, a little heartache, a lot of family, and a few surprises.
I posted once or twice, but here's to filling in the gaps.
I think a summer series of blog posts is in order.  Let's count this as an official start :)

Glad to be back,
Taylor Ann

On tadpole fishing and kiddos

After that lovely plane flight extravaganza on Saturday night,

I finally made it to Hawaii.

There is a video that shows the greeting I received, and someday I'll show it to you.

It will be worth your two minutes, I promise.

As my aunt and I watched it, we just smiled and she said, "pure happiness".

It's true. I could not be more happy to be here.

I hang out all day with the oldest princess (age 6),

the little prince (age 3),

and my twin and comrade (age 4).

My first night here, the adults went out to dinner and left the kids. 

By adults, I mean the married people. 

Until I reach that point I'm pretty sure I'm kind of like half an adult.

but regardless, I watched the kids.

Honestly, it wasn't even that I watched them...

I played with them. 

There were no tears, no fights, no drama.

I'm all about the no drama.

So the adults left and we played in high volume squeals and giggles for 15 minutes, 

then we, naturally, needed to go catch tadpoles from the pond. 

6 kiddos+me+outdoors+perfect Hawaiian weather+pajamas=bliss

I sat there and thought over and over of how lucky I am to be here.

To have a family to love, who loves me back.

Extended and immediate.

...and if you don't love kids like I do, try.

You can learn a lot from them.

And if you love them, normally they love you back.

No questions asked. 

Taylor Ann

A good ole Cenote adventure.

Our family has always loved Mexico.
There's a certain charm about it, and something in the air.
The hot, humid, sultry air.

There has always been an itch for Mexico that we couldn't shake.
I can't speak for us all, but for me it's the language,
the colorful buildings and intricate tiles,
the connection to culture,
the excitement of the unexplored,
the food. fajitas, tacos, guacamole, fruit.
the history, the townsquares, the cathedrals.
the little people with brown eyes.

After Chichen Itza, which I suppose will have to be a post in and of itself,
we went to a Cenote [pronounced see-no-tay] and walked the streets of the nearest town.
Rewind. cenote. we walked in and were just blown away at how beautiful it was.
[oh and also the lack of restrictions which would have been EVERYWHERE had this been the US]
Most of the people that came on the bus with us were just standing around the edges,
but that didn't pacify us Veaters near enough- Zane jumped in almost immediately.
Brooke, Dad, and I followed.
Jess stayed on the edge with mom and husband as a good pregger should.
Zane proceeded to jump off the ledge halfway up, and we cheered shamelessly.
Then came time for us all to jump, though we weren't sure where from.
The highest spot ended up to be our destined point of departure.









We ended up making quite a scene, the four of us- shouting across the way to the others and such.
Brooke had people cheering and taking pictures. What a stud of a 13 year-old, right?
We then proceeded to have  a nice lunch in town and eat at a charming little restaurant.
My family was goofy and slightly irreverent- all in good humor and Veater fashion.
[And yes, my hair looked like that for the entirety of the trip in case you were wondering.]

Yay for Mexico.

Taylor Ann

Hello Cancun

Spring term is over.
Which means finals are over.
Which means business law is OVER.
Which means I went home to Coarsegold for a week.
Which means I got to spend time with the preggers before she leaves for Boston.
Which all has made me very happy.
All of which was wonderful.

Now I'm in Mexico.
HOLLA.
And it's even better.

I literally have nothing to do except whatever it is I feel.
Yesterday after a run and good solid workout at a lovely hole-in-the-wall Mexican gym,
I joined my mom and my sister on the beach.
I had a book in my hand [because how could you sit in a chair for hours and do nothing?] and got through only 7 pages.
Then I had the thought- I have the option to literally do nothing right now.
I don't know how long it's been since that has been an option. 

So I did.
I watched the kids play in crystal clear water and enjoyed the breeze.
Then I turned over on my belly and laid there in silence until I fell asleep.

The only bad thing that could happen here is a sunburn.
And let's be real- considering the circumstances, that's not all that bad.


 



Missing you from Mexico...
But probably not.

Taylor Ann

[you want to follow these picturas erryday? feel free to insta-stalk me: smalltowntaylor]

Goodbye little brother, no wait... come here!

Little brother is the best.

The absolute, absolute best.

He is funny, and kind, and takes life serious enough... but never too serious.

He graduated high school this last week.

His graduation was filled with robes, gold chains, a speech... the works.

Every little girls eyes are riveted when this boy is around,

and mama's heart brims with pride and joy.

I, for one, am a very proud sister on account of this boy.

And we'll forgive him for not being able to take a serious picture for his life these days,

for such is the life of a seventeen year old boy.

Look out BYU.... he's coming this fall! 

Soooo much quality bonding to be done for he and I.

So many poor girls hearts to capture.

Taylor Ann

The best part of it all

I walked in last night at an ungodly hour.
It was around 3 in the morning...when no person should be awake.
So, naturally, nobody was.

I walked into mom's room to tell her we got home safely and crawled into her bed for a second.
She held my head in one hand, and rubbed my back with the other.
She told me how glad she was that I was home, and I remembered why home is the closest place to heaven.

Then I went and crawled into Brooke's bed to inform her of the same thing.
She wasn't coherent at first, but put her arm around me, as is customary for her to do to whatever object happens to be in her bed...
But when I gently told her again that it was me,
she immediately put both her arms around my neck, and held me tightly until i silently slid away to my own room.

I sat in my room for a while in those early morning hours, just being grateful for all the people I have.
I went out on the balcony and felt the wind on my face,
I teared up in happiness fo being back in the company of people who will love me forever,
Inside and out.
Mistake after mistake.
Imperfect, silly little me.
They don't care.
But you know what the best part is?
When I'm around them I don't care either.

 

Happy to be home again.

 Taylor Ann

Hello, world.

Hello, i phone.
You take absolutely lovely pictures.

Hello, sunshine.
I need you.
Stay forever. 

Hello, fireside on Christ.
Thanks for reminding me He has it all figured out.

Hello, Jess.
Thanks for telling me it won't work until it works.
It somehow makes it better.

Hello, life.
You are wonderful.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

When you get makeout mints, you know it can't be a half bad birthday...

And now, to extend my birthday for like... as long as possible...

Today I will post my birthday dinner pictures. 

Literally, birthday dinner was so wonderful. 

The company, the gifts.... the steak. 

My roommates all drove up to Park City to meet my family and I. 

We ate, we laughed, we sang an obnoxiously loud birthday song.

I opened presents, of course. And naturally, they were all wonderful.

Jess got me a necklace I have since hardly taken off.

Brooke got me a scarf that works perfectly as a headband.

My parents got me earrings that match my birthstone ring.

And Zane got me gloves.....and some makeout mints.

As would be natural to receive from your 17 year old brother.

Seeing that I was sitting next to a boy, I may have accidentally blushed a lot.

So there you have it.

An ode to my family, 

great food, 

horrible lighting for pictures, 

taking a million pictures anyways,

being inappropriately loud in nice restaurants,

and extending birthdays for weeks on end.

Love You Always,

Taylor Ann

I probably love being 21. Ok, I really do.

But really, my birthday was one of the best days EVER, 

as was the rest of the week spent with my family.

Someday I will tell you about all of the celebrating.

But for now? I am going to record 20 important things that happened in my 20th year of life.

1-Walked the Brooklyn Bridge

2- Explored Central Park

3- Went through my first sudo-relationship [booya. it was longer than two weeks.]

4- ...and subsequently my first DTR

5- ...and subsequently my first breakup? if that's what you call it

6-  Lost 5 pounds

7- Ran a race. a hard race.

8- Kissed a boy or two

9- Took several roadtrips. [idaho, vegas, california(x3) anyone?]

10- Chose a major

11- Moved into a new apartment

12- Threw a sweet dance party or two...ok maybe more

13- Spent a million nights up at the house

14- Explored Yosemite with Linner

15- Discovered my love for Thai food on a whole new level

16- Cut off ALL of my hair

17- Became a Vice President for Student Alumni

18- Put some blonde in my hair

19- Found roots in the 1950s and my obsession with lipstick.

20- Lived a whole heck of a lot

I feel like that's a pretty solid list for a year of life.

And I'm continuing to love every minute.

Can't wait to see what this year has in store.

I mean, it started off with a sequin shirt...

it's already going the right direction.

[Kudos to Jess for the picture at my birthday dinner!] 

Love Always, 

Taylor Ann

my little man

Look at this little bugger.
His favorite things include placing his hands on his hips when he makes statements...which is often,
running like a line backer.. or a gorilla [with his arms swinging by his side], 
being a man's-man playing with cars and "killing" all the girls with his screwdriver,
and enjoying being the youngest grandchild and only grandson in the last.... 14 years?

Needless to say, we think he is DARLING. 

But really... can you blame us?
Homeboy has my heart.
Aside from daddy, of course...

Love you Always.

Taylor Ann

getting back on feat. miss mackenzie

Have you ever fallen off a horse?
Well, it's kind of a scary thing....no matter how old you are.
When I was probably around 6 years old, I fell off my horse straight into grandma and grandpa's pond.
Daddy gave me the shirt off his back and I emotionally recovered at grandma's house.
[which is, of course, the best place to recover]

But would you know what is the most important is about falling off?
Getting back on.
Which also happens to be the scariest part.
But gosh darnit, isn't that the way everything is?

Well, this story isn't about me after all anyways.
You see, Miss Mackenzie loves horses.
[Santa even gave her horse pajamas this year]
Over Christmas, she fell off.
Scared her and everyone else half to death,
but she was so brave.
She got right back on.

You know, if you think about it....
everything good stops if you fall off at the first bump,
and never get back on.
But life keeps going just fine if you get back on.

I love you my pretty little Mackenzie :)

Taylor Ann

shout out to santa.

Christmas Eve. 

Finally. 

I know. 

I am so slow. 

So on Christmas Eve, Santa always makes an appearance at grandma's.

We happen to be some of his favorite kiddos.

He pulls out his big bag and everyone gets pajamas!

We all have to sit on his lap, even when we're 20 years old.

 This year was the most magical yet. 

I loved every minute. 

Thanks for making it happen, Santa.

[you made it on the blog like you asked;)]