Hello, world.

Hello, i phone.
You take absolutely lovely pictures.

Hello, sunshine.
I need you.
Stay forever. 

Hello, fireside on Christ.
Thanks for reminding me He has it all figured out.

Hello, Jess.
Thanks for telling me it won't work until it works.
It somehow makes it better.

Hello, life.
You are wonderful.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

do you know what i do all the time?

College was really hard, emotionally, my first year.
I was used to things falling into my lap, and people knowing my name
[not to mention the two generations before me]

and I came here and I couldn't play an instrument.

I mean that wasn't all, but it personifies my problem.
Everyone seemed to be good at things that I wasn't...
and I forgot that I was good at anything at all.

Then I found something outside of myself.
I got involved in a campus organization.
I started doing things that weren't about me.
I loved it, and I felt important and needed.

I've found something every semester since to  do that for me.
That makes it all sound selfish, but maybe it is?

Right now, I'm a Vice President over with Student Alumni.
Oh wait? You don't know what that is? Never fear. I'll tell you.

Student Alumni is connected with the term "Cougars today, cougars forever" and that's our goal. I mean, what's the point of going to a University you don't love and want to be a sweet alumni that reps their college shirt on gameday forever?
I seriously don't know.

We [meaning myself and the other officers and volunteers, whom I adore...] get to help students feel the spirit of the Y by hosting Tradition and Professional Development events. I get to do the Traditions events.....which are awesome, fyi. Traditions Ball, Hike and Light the Y, Food Drive, Senior Celebration, etc. Yeah...sweet.

Oh wait? I forgot to explain the spirit of the Y? If you've gone to BYU, and I mean really gone to BYU [not just gone through the motions of going to classes... you get out what you put in, y'all] you will know. There's just something about it here. Regardless of sports, or physical attractiveness of our facilities [which are often lacking], or prestige of our programs.... there's just a special spirit here. If you let yourself stop stressing about school or boys or how fat you feel in those pants for just a second, you'll feel it. Take out your headphones. Look up, remember? It's better to look up. And that's one of my favorite reasons to look up. To feel that spirit of the Y.

Anyways, all this means that 1. I'm advocating another cause bigger than me, probably for selfish reasons like keeping my sanity 2. I get to spend much of my time in the most beautiful building on campus named after my childhood prophet [Hinckley Center] 3. I get to help plan awesome events and meet even more awesome volunteers. let's be real, they make my job easy.

Just thought I'd let you know about what takes up a large chunk of my time.
Oh wait? You want to go to our website? I'll help you. Click here.
While you're there you want to register for Traditions Ball? Even better.

Just teasing you. But really.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

Magic.

You know those happiness moments?

The ones where the weather is perfect,

the sky is the right shade of blue,

when nothing seems to be the matter,

and you curl up with a blanket and a book,

or take a hot bath.

Those moments when you feel so content,

where everyone around you is smiling,

and you just can't seem to wipe the smile off your face.

When you sing loud in the car,

or catch a glimpse of something breathtaking,

when the snow is falling so magically,

or you feel loved perfectly despite your imperfections.

I love those moments. 

I live for them.

Magic is real,

I just know it is. 

I remember walking home from class my freshman year on my birthday.

It was in the end of February, and weather is never very good then.

But the sun was shining and it felt so good on my face.

I can remember exactly where I was at that moment, and I remember how it felt.

Magic.

I remember seeing my kids waiting for me at the front of the orphanage when our bus pulled in.

I remember dancing with them all night to the sounds of Peruvian voices and guitars.

I remember Jerry holding my hands and walking on my feet and smiling up with that toothless grin.

Magic.

I remember coming home for a weekend in the summer of 2009 and sleeping under the stars with my family.

Magic.

I remember driving down dirt roads this summer with the music up loud...singing at the top of our lungs,  and catching frogs in the muddy banks of the pond.

Magic.

Life is never perfect. 

But I think He gives us moments in which we glimpse for a moment what pure joy feels like.

It's that peaceful, calm, happy moment when nothing else seems to matter. 

Where even if all other things are wrong, you just know it will be ok.

I think that might be what eternity feels like.

I suppose I'll have to wait to find out.

These are some of my favorite "magic" pictures on my pinterest account.

I think the older I get, and the more I make the distinction between what matters and what doesn't,

I have more and more "magic" moments.

It's more of the feeling than the circumstance or action.

That swelling in your heart. 

Magic.

In those moments, and always....

truly, my cup runneth over.

"That I longed for a power of vision which might overpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions full of life I had heard of but never seen: that then I desired more of practical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind, of acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach. I valued what was good in Mrs. Fairfax, and what was good in Adele; but I believed in the existence of other and more vivid kinds of goodness, and what I believed in I wished to behold. 

Who blames me? Many no doubt; and I shall be called discontented. I could not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to pain sometimes. Then my sole relief was to walk the corridor of the third story, backwards and forwards, safe in the silence and solitude of the spot, and allow my mind's eye to dwell on whatever bright vision rose before it- and certainly they were many and glowing; to let my heart be heaved by the exultant movement which, while swelled in it trouble, expanded it with life; and best of all, to open my inward ear to a tale that was never-ended- a tale my imagination created, and narrated continuously; quickened with all of incident, life, fire, feeling, that I desired and had not in my actual existence. 

It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot." 

-Jane, of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre

rainy day whining.

Today started with torrential downpour.

The kind where you have your windshield wipers going full blast.

But it's coming down in sheets basically so you can't see anything anyways.

But let us remember, I was anticipating a normal summer. 

And packed only summer clothes.

Are. you. kidding. me.

So naturally, my stockingless legs were freezing and I stole my dad's portable heater.

[I just haven't reached that level of class where you wear nylons even in summer]

And let it be known that I ate soup for lunch

on this the twenty-ninth day of June.

But I have a corner office with waterfalls and trees outside.

With windows all the way to the ceiling on two walls.

I have no room to whine.

I'm a very lucky girl.

There's a blood pressure machine at Albertson's, soooo  I will share that little tidbit with you. 

Because it's interesting.

blood pressure: 99 over somethin. I'm almost dead, yeah?

also, apparently there was a picture mishap.
sorrrrrry.

becoming who you want to be.

"... you have felt a tug, maybe many tugs, to be someone better. And what sets those yearnings apart from all your daydreams is that they were not about being richer, or smarter, or more attractive, but about being better. I am sure you have had such moments, not just from my experience....." Henry B. Eyring

"Man is a spiritual being, a soul, and at some period of his life everyone is possessed with an irresistable desire to know his relationship to the Infinite... There is something within him which urges him to rise above himself, to control his environment, to master the body and all things physical and live in a higher and more beautiful world" -David O. McKay

Just somethin I've been thinking about.

So some people think blogging is a fake world. 

Where people pretend like their life is perfect. 

In some cases, that may be true. 

But let me tell you about me. 

And why I blog. 

I blog to record. 

And to record the good things. 

Yeah, sometimes I mention my mini-meltdowns

But 1. who wants to read about my debbie-downer moments...

and 2. I don't want to focus on them.

Because what's the use in reliving them?

Oh, that's right. There's not.

 

And also I get to share the things I love. 

And the pictures I take. 

And the quotes and stories from my life.

And maybe someone reads. 

But if they don't, I don't care.

it's a good way for me to reset.

And take a little "me" time everyday. 

And listen to some good country. 

And remember what's important.

So moral of the story: I like blogging.

More all the time.

I'm not going anywhere.

Tay

marriage, running, life.

Last night I went to institute
(for those of you not familiar...it's like a religion class that doesn't count for credit)
and it was so, so good. We talked about relationships, which happen to be a popular subject around these parts, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was refreshing, really. A while back I was asked to share my thoughts on the subject of marriage. Here. With all of you. I never did for some reason or another, I guess sometimes life gets in the way. But it's about time I at least tried. I won't claim to be an expert, oh no...that would be leading you astray in a big way. But I'm allowed to have thoughts, aren't I?
I sure hope so.

Then I ran. Does it ever happen to you where the plan was to be home at 8, exercise until 9, and be done with your paper at 12 and it turns into not getting home until 10, exercising until 11:30, not-being-able-to-write-your-paper-and-wanting-to-write-this-blog-post-instead, and finishing at who-knows-when?
Well that's what happened to me.
But anyways, I ran. It just felt so good outside. And I was connecting it all in my head. I think it is at least semi-acceptable to think of analogies on a consistent basis, yeah? So back to running.... I ran to the temple, which happens to be all uphill. So as I ran on this seemingly endless incline, I thought of something that was said tonight.
"I've learned one thing. Things done the easy way make life hard, and things done the hard way make life easy"
That may sound weird, and my quoting may be a little off, but it made perfect sense to me. And in relationships, I think that it's totally applicable. Putting off talking about potentially uncomfortable subjects, not waiting to do things the right way, those are the easy ways. In the end though they end up being harder. Saying things that need to be said, sticking to your guns, standing up for what is right even when it's hard, waiting for the better things, those things are hard. But just because they're hard doesn't mean you stop "running". It doesn't mean you quit. You put it in low gear and keep pushing through.

Tonight we had the greatest discussion on perspective. To be unhappy with someone or life in general can be so easy to do if we focus on the moment. Or the day. Or even the month. Step back. Look at things from another view. Preferably a view from a higher standpoint. You know, it's no surprise that that ships have a crow's nest, or that lighthouses are set above the crashing waves. A different perspective, particularly one from above, can make a world of difference.

I don't know a lot about this stuff but I know a few things for sure.

Things I know:
My husband will be absolutely wonderful.
It won't always be easy.
My problems don't all of a sudden go away when I get married (shocking, right?)
I will get married in the temple.
In relationships, you get out what you put in.
I will marry my best friend (dear family, don't read into that....because I know you already did). 

My favorite marriage analogy:
Let us compare two people to two colors of paint on an easel. When you get married, you can't just stay the same way you are. If you did, your life would go on just as it was.... but that's not why we get married now, is it? But we also don't change into a different person, right? (I mean that's why they always tell you not to go into relationships expecting to change people-you're still you) But now that you are married, let's say you are yellow and he is blue, you need to become one. Just as we can become "new creatures" through Christ, so with marriage we also become something new. We become green. So you both are still there, yes, you have to have blue and yellow to make green, but you've become something different than either of you could individually.

So this is just another rambling... from me to you :)