The best part of it all

I walked in last night at an ungodly hour.
It was around 3 in the morning...when no person should be awake.
So, naturally, nobody was.

I walked into mom's room to tell her we got home safely and crawled into her bed for a second.
She held my head in one hand, and rubbed my back with the other.
She told me how glad she was that I was home, and I remembered why home is the closest place to heaven.

Then I went and crawled into Brooke's bed to inform her of the same thing.
She wasn't coherent at first, but put her arm around me, as is customary for her to do to whatever object happens to be in her bed...
But when I gently told her again that it was me,
she immediately put both her arms around my neck, and held me tightly until i silently slid away to my own room.

I sat in my room for a while in those early morning hours, just being grateful for all the people I have.
I went out on the balcony and felt the wind on my face,
I teared up in happiness fo being back in the company of people who will love me forever,
Inside and out.
Mistake after mistake.
Imperfect, silly little me.
They don't care.
But you know what the best part is?
When I'm around them I don't care either.

 

Happy to be home again.

 Taylor Ann

How I get boys.

Last weekend I went to a wedding,
and I met a boy.
And by boy I mean group of boys.
They were circa 8 years old.
And I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure they thought I was cute.
We all stood at the candy table and they dared me to try the most sour candy.

I, of course, accepted the challenge and they patiently waited for my reaction.
I squirmed and giggled, and scrunched my face like a champ.
That's probably when they all fell in love. 

I should probably not egg little boys on like that,
but it's way too much fun to play along.
Plus, it makes you an immediate fan club.

I think little boys are the best.
Food stains on their shirts
Coolaid/juice stains on their mouths
toothless grins
shy, but bold flirting tactics
they win me over every time.
They are my immediate favorite in any crowd.



Yerri was one of the first, but I'm sure he won't be the last.
He held my hand,
curled up in my lap,
and danced on my feet.
All under a Peruvian sky.
I'm not really sure I'll ever be able to let that one go.

My mom teases that I will one day be a mother of all boys.
I secretly wouldn't mind so much.
[and I'm sure this will be so funny when I have all little girls...]
But that's just one of those things making me happy these days,
hope your weekend was as good as mine!

-Taylor Ann

heaven on earth.

Have you ever felt like home was heaven on earth?
Like being home, if even for a few days, made everything better?
It's almost like your soul just craves the sanctuary that comes with being around
the people who know you. really know you. and the places you know so well.
There is no explaining yourself. There is no need for constant conversation. There is no stress.
Only people and places you love, and who love you in return.

I've had that experience a few times now.
The first was the summer after I graduated high school.
I had never been away from home longer than two weeks,
but I was independent...so I was sure it would be no big deal to leave home for the summer.
Oh, I was more than a little overconfident in my ability to be independent
and unaware of my youth and dependence on my family.
It got to be too much for my barely graduated self to handle- and one weekend, I needed to go.
I left directly after work on Friday and had to come back for work Monday,
so a short trip was what it had to be.
I couldn't drive fast enough.
We didn't do anything that special, just our normal dinner and a movie routine.
It happened to be a perfect summer night.
So a spontaneous thought brought about a spontaneous adventure-
and we brought blow-up mattresses to our (then) house pad and slept under the stars.

I think I cried when I left. I had never before realized how much I loved home.

This weekend was another one of those.
Heaven on earth. I was back in God's country with my people.
I was comfortable and happy and sat taking in the general splendor most of the time.
The colored green touched everything in sight, and sunshine flooded through every window.
We fell asleep to a breeze through the window and stars for days, 
and woke up slowly in the mornings to sunshine and birds chirping.
I scratched backs and did hair and makeup.
I gave and received good, long hugs.

It was only three days, but blissful they were.
And they somehow put everything back in balance.

oh heyyyy there!

I thought I probably owed you all a photo-montage of spring.
Life here is always happy during spring, and rain never lasts long.
Long enough to curl up and read a book...maybe enjoy some hot chocolate...
Then the sun comes out and you can ride your bike to school and just sit and bask in sunshine.
New sunshine, warm sunshine- not hot sunshine.
Fountains glimmer and frozen treats come to play.

This spring I've especially loved the freedom of it all.
Having everything to do all the time, but choosing whether or not you want to do anything at all.
Realizing that you are secretly 17 at heart when you buy multi-colored pens to stock up for back to school.
Getting large groups of people to go with you everywhere... even if it is just the gym.
Sitting in an empty library to study while you wait for your next class.
Eating dinner together on your bedroom floor... because you can.
Going to weeknight, latenight dinner with the boys just for fun.
Riding in the beds of trucks and on the back of motorcycles.
Receiving a new "spanish name". alter-ego anyone?

Dreaming of a ballroom....

Literally. I love life.

Currently, I have a midterm to be studying for and a gym membership to use....

but instead I'm watching the last scene of the redone version of Beauty and the Beast.

Singing every word to this song, naturally...

and swooning at the thought of ever being in a room that beautiful.



Watch it, do.

It will make you smile.

el bautismo

Baptism days are some of the happiest days.

Over break I went to my little Miss' baptism.
As we all took pictures of her inside
[not that scratchy brown wall with butcher paper doesn't make for a lovely background...]

I had the thought that the occasion called for a bit better lighting and scenery.

Boy, am I glad I had the thought.

Doesn't she just glow?
It was such a great experience to be there,
and see this little family together.
It made me think about all the things I love and the gospel that I am so grateful for.

I believe in Christ.

I am consistently blown away at the effects of Christ and his gospel in people's lives.

And in my own. 

I am a genuinely happy human being.
I am not happy because my life is perfect, though I am fully aware I am blessed.
I am not happy because I'm ignorant or naive, I know the world is hard.
I'm happy because I have the gospel, and I know my standing with my Heavenly Father.
I know that he loves me, despite my shortcomings.

Last week I took one of my very best friends in the whole world to dinner for her birthday.
We talked about high school and life and the way we are. Our similarities, our differences.
She and I were very different in high school, and as we giggled about it, she turned to me.
"You're just.... it's different than just maturity.... I think you're an old soul"

Would you know, that's exactly what little Miss' mother said about her at her baptism?
That, she truly is. Very aware, very sweet. Somehow very much older than 8 years old.

I will gladly be placed in her same category.

I bring this all up for lots of reasons.
1. It all is exactly how I feel a lot of the time, so it belongs here, right?
2. Those pictures make me happy every time I look at them.
3. My roommate just got called to serve a mission and share all of this with the people of Los Angeles for a year and a half. I can't imagine a more wonderful, sincere person to do the job.

I'm so proud of her :)
Everyone deserves this kind of happiness.
I just want to share it with the whole world.

Love Always,
Taylor Ann

shout out to santa.

Christmas Eve. 

Finally. 

I know. 

I am so slow. 

So on Christmas Eve, Santa always makes an appearance at grandma's.

We happen to be some of his favorite kiddos.

He pulls out his big bag and everyone gets pajamas!

We all have to sit on his lap, even when we're 20 years old.

 This year was the most magical yet. 

I loved every minute. 

Thanks for making it happen, Santa.

[you made it on the blog like you asked;)]

Hi, my family is adorable.

Ok, first things first, I'm going to throw a disclaimer out there for my next weeks worth of posts...

They will be 100% about home and my family.

Yep, there's just no getting around it.

1. I have the best family ever. no bias necessary there.

2. At school my life consists of homework, school, and well... yeah.

But, for your enjoyment while I make the drive back to Utah today

[and by "I" make the drive I very much mean while my brother in law makes the drive and I sit in the back seat....]

I will provide you with the proof that I have the most darling little group of cousins.

These guys are the youngest cousins by quite a few years, 

so we love love love to have them around.

[especially this baby-deprived college student right here!] 

I got to spend a few minutes with them before they headed back to the bay area.

And my heart just kept melting!

"Ok, so I need a million kisses from each of you before I leave"

*Just 5 tay-tay [hand open to indicate the number five]*

"Ok, ok. Then just five"

"How about you, Miss Lolo? Can I have a million kisses?"

*Five [using same five-finger indication as big-sister]*

"Ok, Ok. Five kisses it is"

then...from the carseat up front I see a little hand shoot up. 

*Two, taytay! Two!*

"Ok! Two kisses for my favorite boy!"

"Bye babies, I love you. I'll see you at Christmas"

*Wait, tay-tay, seven more kisses!*

*Yeah, tay-tay, seven more kisses!*

"Before I leave, what do you guys want for Christmas??"

*a bracelet and a necklace!*

*I want a bracelet and a necklace too!*

*a pony!*

*a hampster*

*a jewelry box...so then I can put my bracelet and necklace inside*

*a clubhouse*

  ...and that is just to name a few. 

Good luck with those 3 hampsters and a pony, Santa.

Yeah, I know, darling.

 

In case you were wondering, the kisses added up to almost a million (;

Aaaaaaand I know... 

my little brother is a looker.

And that tan all year round.

And single.

And 17.

So, I mean, if you wanna wait around a few years..

love thanksgiving,

love cousins,

love kisses,

 love you all,

Taylor Ann

another one of those crazy weekends.

Thursday night:

"hey tay, so dad wants you to come home this weekend"

"what the heck? For real? this weekend as in... tomorrow?"

"yeah"

"yeah, I'll figure it out and we'll book tickets tonight"

[i mean who wouldn't cancel everything to fly home for the weekend?]

Friday:

cleaning checks. test. rush rush rush. airport. pick sister up from school. diet cokes and target shopping with the sister. flight. phoenix. dinner on our layover. girl talk. life talk. boy talk. back scratches. another flight. coercing people into letting us sit together. this song about 500 times. books. naps. HOME.

Saturday:

little sisters soccer game. lunch. talk talk talk. see people from home. get asked multiple times why i don't have a boyfriend. home. homework. talk some more. nap. movie. more people from home. talk talk talk. sushi with the family.

Sunday:

church with the family. more people from home. brunch. airport. flight. nap. dinner. flight. talk talk talk.

and just like that, we were back in Utah.

Normally, I'm pretty independent, but this was one of those times where I didn't want to go back to being on my own. 

So here's to moms who let you take naps and give you candy for the flight home

 and California weather- including blue skies and puffy clouds

 and wooden carved welcome bears at the frosty

 and lots of diet soda.

and being crazy. and spur of the moment trips home.

love you all. 

taylor ann

Magic.

You know those happiness moments?

The ones where the weather is perfect,

the sky is the right shade of blue,

when nothing seems to be the matter,

and you curl up with a blanket and a book,

or take a hot bath.

Those moments when you feel so content,

where everyone around you is smiling,

and you just can't seem to wipe the smile off your face.

When you sing loud in the car,

or catch a glimpse of something breathtaking,

when the snow is falling so magically,

or you feel loved perfectly despite your imperfections.

I love those moments. 

I live for them.

Magic is real,

I just know it is. 

I remember walking home from class my freshman year on my birthday.

It was in the end of February, and weather is never very good then.

But the sun was shining and it felt so good on my face.

I can remember exactly where I was at that moment, and I remember how it felt.

Magic.

I remember seeing my kids waiting for me at the front of the orphanage when our bus pulled in.

I remember dancing with them all night to the sounds of Peruvian voices and guitars.

I remember Jerry holding my hands and walking on my feet and smiling up with that toothless grin.

Magic.

I remember coming home for a weekend in the summer of 2009 and sleeping under the stars with my family.

Magic.

I remember driving down dirt roads this summer with the music up loud...singing at the top of our lungs,  and catching frogs in the muddy banks of the pond.

Magic.

Life is never perfect. 

But I think He gives us moments in which we glimpse for a moment what pure joy feels like.

It's that peaceful, calm, happy moment when nothing else seems to matter. 

Where even if all other things are wrong, you just know it will be ok.

I think that might be what eternity feels like.

I suppose I'll have to wait to find out.

These are some of my favorite "magic" pictures on my pinterest account.

I think the older I get, and the more I make the distinction between what matters and what doesn't,

I have more and more "magic" moments.

It's more of the feeling than the circumstance or action.

That swelling in your heart. 

Magic.

In those moments, and always....

truly, my cup runneth over.

Wedding days are the happiest days.

Dear Utahans....

have you heard of La Caille?

Well, regardless of who you are or whether or not you're a current UT resident,

I'm going to tell you something. 

The place is incredible.

My roommate and I went to a wedding reception there this weekend and it's one of those places...

the kind where you walk in and everything just keeps getting better. 

We just kept opening our mouths and saying things like "wow" or "one word:classy"

Think brick colored cobblestones, lattice fences, willow trees, a pond with swans, incredible mocktails, and last but certainly not least: great company.

 The reception dinner [not to mention the fact that the food was incredible] was in a greenhouse lined with greenery and chandeliers. It was honestly one of the best wedding receptions I've ever been to. Not only was it absolutely gorgeous, but the bride and groom were blissfully happy, both sides of the family fully participated in the dancing and festivities [the bride has 10 siblings. fun, no?], and there was a live band.

Happiness at it's finest.

So worth missing the BYU v. UTAH game.

[not that there was much to miss...]

The best kind of summer nights.

Yesterday the roommate kept looking at me and saying, "today was such a good day"

yes, yes it was.
It was our last day of summer and it was happy.
I crafted and exercised and rode my bike.
I got asked on a date for next week.
I went to a dessert party with some of my favorite people,
then a birthday party with some others.
Some boys were serenading the birthday crew from the piano,
and I sat by the window and listened.
Suddenly I smelled it.

It was raining. Hard.

When we all got home the lightning and thunder were still rolling.
Roommate 2 and I wanted to go watch and listen,
so we went to the courtyard and sat on the roof of the clubhouse.
We talked and laughed a little and got wet.
An old friend came outside so I went to the puddle that was our sidewalk and talked.
The roommates went inside, only to come out again shortly.
Then the splashing of water commenced.
Then the sliding across the puddle Elvis style.
There were people on the second floor balcony that probably thought we were crazy.
We didn't care. Nope, not even a little bit.
We giggled and squealed so much that we had to be told to simmer down.
We always seem to need that reminder.
We couldn't have been more wet if we had jumped into  our pool with our clothes on.
And we couldn't have been more happy for almost anything.

So, some of us aren't dancers.
And some of us aren't singers.

But whatever you do, smile in the rain.

Summer Adventure: Central Park

I have this sister [for those of you who don't know]
and I also have this mother.
my sister has a husband.
he is really smart.
he had a summer internship in New York.
husband's company took him and the other interns to Florida.
wives weren't invited. [most interns don't have one anyways.]
so sister needed company while he was gone of course.
my brilliant mother decided: who better to keep sister company than us?
so, naturally, we flew across the country.
for an upcloseandpersonal tour of New York.

First Stop: Central Park

Central Park is magical. It's a reprieve from the concrete jungle, placed right in the heart of Manhattan.

Huge trees, fountains, birds, street performers, horse drawn carriages, and bicycles.

oh, and fun pictures and funnier antiqued signs

personally, I'm planning on hanging this one in my future home.

oh, and hi my  mom's a model.

Summer Adventure: Berkeley Goodbyes

Gahhh, it's killing me to break this trip into pieces.
But I think if I didn't it would just be picture/youdon'tcarethatmuch overload.
Yeah?

Welllll..... our last day in Berkeley we had a French brunch at La Note

and awkwardly waited for the waiter so they could take this picture.
But it's ok, because it shows how drop-dead gorgeous my two favorite redheads are.
Sandwiched between them was, well, wonderful of course!
and now the moment is frozen in time.
well worth the awkward wait [and subsequently larger obnoxious flash] at the front of the restaurant.
Moral of the story: I have cute friends. 

Then we had to say goodbye to Aspen, and it was horribly sad.
If I was a cry-er I may have cried.
But I get to see her for a day or two here before I leave, so I'll be able to cope.
Barely.

and would you know it? The Oakland Temple is less than 10 minutes from there. 
and the Oakland Temple is beautiful.
I don't care if you believe in what it stands for or not.
If you're ever in the area, please stop by.
The building is beautiful and the grounds are so peaceful.

And if you're feeling adventurous, stop by the visitor's center.

we did.

and we watched this.

and talked to the sweet sister missionaries for a while.

and looked at beautiful art work.

and looked through the massive glass window out across the city.
What a view.
I do. I love to see the temple.

Summer Adventures: Berkeley edition

Don't hate me too bad for neglecting to update this baby for so long.

If you understood how wonderful my week has been, you would be totally understanding.

So trust me on this one.

Now, I will proceed to give you a teaser of my fabulous week.

aka....just the first few days :)

Remember, Aspen? and how much I love her?

I got to visit her this week!

She goes to UC Berkeley [aka Cal. aka really smart]

and it is quite the cuteclutter-hippie dream town if I say so myself.

Here are some things that you must do while you're there.

1. Go to La Med [hi, I have the Berkeley lingo down]

because the food looks like this.

and a restaurant is nearly always worth trying when it is this cute outside.

2. Go to Ici.

because who can pass up some strawberry-balsamic carmel swirl...?

Shoot, actually I can. I got malted vanilla. 

And it was dang good.

In the words of a local...

"you only go there for the cones anyways"

but really, their flavors are so cool

[don't judge me... it's just that when it comes to sweets, I like'm SWEET]

3. Go to cheeseboard

Preferably, you should get a very drunk lady and her girlfriend to pay for your whole pizza so they can cut you in line. At least, that's what we did....

 

4. But whatever you do, it will be a whole lot better if you take along a friend

and sit on a rooftop if at all possible.

because I love most everything about Coarsegold,

but there's something about city lights that's so enchanting.

And if you can, have late night giggles and chats until midnight.

and remember your childhood. 

and appreciate that friendship even more than you did before.

because it's good to be with people who know you. all the way. through and through. 

from beginning to end :)

Girls camp adventures

I'm alive I'm alive!

So last week was crazy. but fabulous. and by fabulous I mean really fabulous.

Tuesday and Wednesday: I got to head up to the mountains to be a "special guest" for my mothers workshop at girls camp [and, yes, I live in the mountains...but I'm talking like Yosemite Park type mountains]

Both days I had to head up in the early afternoon, so, because Fresno is the opposite direction, my loving father gave me the days off work. We brought up cute mismatched plates and cups for the girls and had cupcakes to go along with the set up [cupcakes make everything cuter. always.] Then I ended up staying a little longer than was probably necessary both days due to all kinds of letter-writing, good conversation, and general splendor. 

Part 2: Then Wednesday, after I'm sure I had nearly overstayed my welcome, I headed home. I stopped at the thrift store because Zane and I had premier tickets to HP7 and I still needed an outfit. 

Then I got the call that changed my life. 

Ok, maybe not my whole life, but it certainly changed my week. I got the call that a counselor had gotten sick. and had to leave. and they needed somebody to fill in.......soooo......... I, naturally, sprinted home to throw t-shirts and a sleeping bag in my car and headed for the hills! [and called that sweet-awesome boss of mine to ask for two more days off] I was a little nervous at first. I mean I was taking somebody's place, and that's never easy. And it was evident right away that the girls loved her. And I was majorly lacking in life experience and wisdom in comparison to my co-counselor [who has somewhere in the ballpark of 9 children, but not a mean bone in her body]. But then I came to the cabin with "u rok" written in playdough and little one clinging to my arm, and all was well.

 

I only was a counselor from Wednesday night to Friday morning, but we sure packed in a few things.

I got to experience yet another faith walk.

And watch sa-weeeeet skits like "socks with sandals" by Miss Melissa.

But my favorite part was spending time with my cute first years.

And helping them plan home evening lessons for their grandma. 

Or have six of them pile into my bed to tell boy stories. 

And telling them all about how there are good boys out there. 

And why waiting to date boys is good.

And doing what you know is right.

 

Things I learned:

Everything happens the way it should.

 HP7 was apparently epic, but my little first years will only have one 1st year of camp.

I learned that twelve year old girls LOVE taking pictures of you.

Just you.

All the time.

Even though you're at camp and looking kinda rough. 

But you love them enough that you don't really care.

I learned that my brother is a big hit with the ladies. apparently. He's still my "bub" all the same.

apparently [in a twelve year olds eyes] my biggest flaw is that I don't have a boyfriend.

[who ever knew that was a flaw?]

and according to a little darling from Mexico, my accent isn't too horrible for being a gringo.

[have I subsequently thought of making spanish my major? maybe.]

[is my life goal accomplished? Possibly]

Mostly, I remembered how much I love camp. 

And really, I was just another happy camper.

Be a happy camper this week, would ya?