marriage, running, life.

Last night I went to institute
(for those of you not familiar...it's like a religion class that doesn't count for credit)
and it was so, so good. We talked about relationships, which happen to be a popular subject around these parts, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was refreshing, really. A while back I was asked to share my thoughts on the subject of marriage. Here. With all of you. I never did for some reason or another, I guess sometimes life gets in the way. But it's about time I at least tried. I won't claim to be an expert, oh no...that would be leading you astray in a big way. But I'm allowed to have thoughts, aren't I?
I sure hope so.

Then I ran. Does it ever happen to you where the plan was to be home at 8, exercise until 9, and be done with your paper at 12 and it turns into not getting home until 10, exercising until 11:30, not-being-able-to-write-your-paper-and-wanting-to-write-this-blog-post-instead, and finishing at who-knows-when?
Well that's what happened to me.
But anyways, I ran. It just felt so good outside. And I was connecting it all in my head. I think it is at least semi-acceptable to think of analogies on a consistent basis, yeah? So back to running.... I ran to the temple, which happens to be all uphill. So as I ran on this seemingly endless incline, I thought of something that was said tonight.
"I've learned one thing. Things done the easy way make life hard, and things done the hard way make life easy"
That may sound weird, and my quoting may be a little off, but it made perfect sense to me. And in relationships, I think that it's totally applicable. Putting off talking about potentially uncomfortable subjects, not waiting to do things the right way, those are the easy ways. In the end though they end up being harder. Saying things that need to be said, sticking to your guns, standing up for what is right even when it's hard, waiting for the better things, those things are hard. But just because they're hard doesn't mean you stop "running". It doesn't mean you quit. You put it in low gear and keep pushing through.

Tonight we had the greatest discussion on perspective. To be unhappy with someone or life in general can be so easy to do if we focus on the moment. Or the day. Or even the month. Step back. Look at things from another view. Preferably a view from a higher standpoint. You know, it's no surprise that that ships have a crow's nest, or that lighthouses are set above the crashing waves. A different perspective, particularly one from above, can make a world of difference.

I don't know a lot about this stuff but I know a few things for sure.

Things I know:
My husband will be absolutely wonderful.
It won't always be easy.
My problems don't all of a sudden go away when I get married (shocking, right?)
I will get married in the temple.
In relationships, you get out what you put in.
I will marry my best friend (dear family, don't read into that....because I know you already did). 

My favorite marriage analogy:
Let us compare two people to two colors of paint on an easel. When you get married, you can't just stay the same way you are. If you did, your life would go on just as it was.... but that's not why we get married now, is it? But we also don't change into a different person, right? (I mean that's why they always tell you not to go into relationships expecting to change people-you're still you) But now that you are married, let's say you are yellow and he is blue, you need to become one. Just as we can become "new creatures" through Christ, so with marriage we also become something new. We become green. So you both are still there, yes, you have to have blue and yellow to make green, but you've become something different than either of you could individually.

So this is just another rambling... from me to you :)


The Warcups said...

Love that you had to clarify the best friend part haha. You are oh so wise! I just admire everything about you Tay. And I especially like the life is harder if you take the easy way out idea. Super. Love you!

Kara said...

I love you my wise and thoughtful child!!!xoxo mom

Elisabeth said...

so you are the cutest thing ever :) and i love the color analogy!